Ruminating Poet Press

five am again

and I am ruminating

and today is Memorial Day, 2025

and I remember

 

growing up in the 50s

we never forgot

the days of memory

for we all remembered loss

 

and yet we were all proud

because our warriors fell

for great purposes

and great victories

and were the holy dead

of our modern crusades

we put the flags out

on almost all the porches

and there were gold star flags

on many houses

 

e Memorial then

was always on the 31st

and we had no school

but always had assembly

just before

where we sang patriotic songs

and prayed for the dead

for we still had prayer in school

in those days

 

and although the kids my age

were just too young

to have lost parents in the big war

some of us had fathers

or older brothers

gone to Korea

and in the classes just ahead of us

many more were fatherless

 

and our fathers

put on their uniforms

and many joined the parade

and the kids watched

and yelled and pointed

at their dads and uncles

and the bands played

and if our town was lucky

we had one of the good bands

from a military service

and the music roused us

and our hearts

beat in step

 

I remember my father

brushing off his uniform

proud that it still fit

straightening his hat

and I was proud

that he was an officer

and marched up front

 

yet he never spoke of war

and tried and failed

to ban toy guns

and would not let us hunt

with Grandfather

or our uncles

and for many years

the only thing I knew

of his service

was his incredible luck

in being on a ship

in the summer of '45

that was supposed to sail

from London to Asia

but went to Boston, instead

 

the family got together

and often had a dinner

at which the lost were missed

and stories were told

and we thought all were heroes

although we knew better

 

and stories were told

of my father's cousin Howard

who died in a fiery mystery

and how his brother Glenn

had probably been saved

because his allergies

sent him home from the Pacific

where Howard had died

 

we all were sadly proud

and wept and celebrated

and visited the cemetery

and made sure

no graves were neglected

 

our town had a national cemetery

so older wars were still remembered

and even the confederate dead

remained among us

and some came north to remember

and make their pilgrimage

 

when I went to college

with automatic duty

I joined ROTC

and joined a unit

that regularly marched

with flags and pomp

and youthful energy

and fancy drill

for parades and other ceremonies

and on one Memorial Day

we marched in two parades

 

and those days continued

and the parades went on

unquestioned, undoubted

until the cloud of stories

from Vietnam

and the loss and return

of veterans of that strange tragedy

challenged our opinions,

mixed up our emotions,

and eroded our ideals

and I rejected my hope

of honorable service

and rejected that war

and doubted, then rejected,

that crusade,

but could not reject

those who chose,

or who were forced, to serve

 

and many whom I knew

went to that war

and some did not come back

and are listed on that dark wall

 

and many whom I knew

helped evaders and deserters

and risked, and sometimes went,

to jail, or to Canada,

in opposition

and many whom I knew

who opposed that war

and marched

and even contemplated violence

against it, and its leaders,

still visit that dark wall

and weep

for the senselessness of it

 

and many years now have passed

since I stood

at the curb of the Memorial Day Parade

heart swelling

to the flags and music

and saw men whom I knew

and loved

march in memory of those

whom they had known, and lost

and was purely

and unquestionably

proud

 

and I have seen since then

no great and holy war

only tawdry exercises

of greed, and power, and false ideals,

mistakes of intelligence, and judgment,

and still we keep great forces

and many weapons

and send our warriors

throughout the world

on missions for which

I have no faith, and see little honor

 

and yet,

I see in other places of the world

warriors of honor, struggles of hope,

and I know, still,

the respect for the lowest soldiers

who go where they are sent,

who fight for their homes,

who help their comrades

who fight for something

in which they have faith

 

and I know

that not all were noble

and that some were fools

and that some were

the willing servants of death

and I know

that some died quickly

and some slowly

and some screaming

in fear and denial

and few died well

 

and I know

that the world will never

be all at peace

and that most who have died

will have died fruitlessly,

in vain, in pursuit

of some mistake or lie

or impossible hope

but my memory goes back

and I remember my father

and his silence

and its reasons

for he was a physician

a surgeon

who did not serve at the front

but at the hospitals in the rear

caring for those

who died slowly

and bit by bit

and where he learned to value

the fitting of limbs

 

and so I say,

still,

it is Memorial Day,

and it is time to remember the dead,

so let us remember all the dead

and do not sort or judge them

by which side they were on

or which dream or error

enchanted them

but remember them

and how they were driven

by will or command or error

to give their all

 

and have compassion

and accept their gifts

 

 

 

 

 

 

i am not brave, or strong

but i am

concerned

afraid

dismayed

angry

and i cannot be quiet

 



 

 

 

WHAT IS TO BE DONE?

 

in troubled times

this question

has been asked, and asked again,

and it must now be asked again

today I wondered

what is poetry for?

or rather,

what is my poetry for?

and

what is to be done?

day to day

in all the little details of my life?

and I think back

and realize

that i was first radicalized

by books -

by poems and novels

often old ones

but with messages still new

with examples still strong

which is why they burn books

why even the books

in the imaginary canon

are often at risk

and I think back

and browse my shelves

and realize that the answer

to the question

What Is To Be Done?

is the same as always

do not comply

do not give them power

do not be afraid

for they fear nothing more

than the unafraid

and words have power, so

love the world

notice the beauty, the good, the kind

and speak out joyfully

about the need to be free

think freely

read freely

speak freely

write freely

and be unafraid

 



 

WAR OF WORDS

 

it is a war for language

for free speech

and for clear meanings

 

for poets

the right words

the best words

are breath and life

 

and we know

we work every day

with their depth and breadth

their resonances

their baggage

their deep anchors

in memories

and cultures

 

and so we must resist

 

when speech is sanitized

stripped down

pushed up against the wall

and told to behave

or be jailed

 

of course

we all know

that speech, and poems,

can be weaponized

 

after all,

we too fight

with and for our words

so we must not degrade them

 

do not return hate with hate

do not answer lies with lies

strike for the weak points

call bullshit

 

but do not exaggerate

this war

will be for the long run

and must be won

by clarity

and depth

not a wallow in mud

 



 

PURGING TRUTHS

 

my internet is ill

my computer fails me

my search engines are ailing

they have lost their strength

they cannot find what they used to find

and serve me up pretensions -

substitutes for truths

 

they have purged

their diversity

the algorithms

are not more intelligent

but more artificial

pushing all responses

into desired conformity

 

they are purging equity

the fight for fairness

for equal rights

is being taken out and beaten in the alley

the museums and libraries

are being forced

into a perverse mythology

 

they are avoiding inclusiveness

deviation is criminalized

oddities are expunged

the joy of variety

of challenging innovation

of celebratory absurdity

of the invention of new ways

to be your new self

are being locked in the closets

 

they are complying in advance

and denying the truth

they will fail

 

always, and forever,

we must change to live -

all new "endless forms most beautiful"

are branched off

by original variations

 



 

ANTICIPATORY COMPLIANCE

 

I learned a new phrase this week

"anticipatory compliance"

it comes from business,

especially those businesses

who practice careful risk management

who want to avoid

losses

lawsuits

regulators

public shame

or any public trouble at all

and it should mean

know the rules

and follow them

do what you are supposed to do

keep good records

be trustworthy

and above all,

be honest

but,

and this is a big but,

it has come to mean

court the inspectors

be careful what you write down

look out for the camera

destroy the evidence,

hire good lawyers,

don't get caught,

but if you do,

deny, lie, deny

or

for the public

which is relatively powerless

it means

keep your head down

stay out of trouble

and above all,

be afraid,

be very afraid,

don't rock the boat,

and don't put your head up and look around

 

to which,

I call bullshit -

do not comply

 



 

TROUBLE

 

you think you know trouble?

 

let me tell you about trouble -

trouble is not

feeling miserable

lonely or bored

stifled at a job

 

bad trouble is when

the grand jury throws your ass in jail

for refusing to rat out

your neighbor or your friend

 

bad trouble is losing

your job

your dog

your apartment

all your possessions

your friend

 

trouble follows you

but trouble ain't

your self-respect

your knowing right from wrong

your willingness to fight

 

trouble is a constant

but there is good trouble

and the fight for justice

is a struggle eternal

and

this battle has just begun

 



 

NAZI

 

how do you hear this?

what does it mean?

how does it make you feel?

what do you see?

 

this word weapon

illuminates little

obscures much

is often misused

but sometimes

in hard times

in desperate times

it is the only right word

 

do not confuse it

with the newsreel images

of symbols that may or may not be meaningful

it does not mean

jackboots and soldiers

it does not mean

stiff armed salutes

it does not mean

rants and ravings

to worshiping crowds

it does not always mean

and certainly does not only mean

hatred of Jews

the elevation of the ignorant

 

it does mean

contempt for the many

the love of power

simply for power's sake

the authority of few

the hate of some others

libeled and stigmatized others

the manipulation of fears

the demonization of opponents

and

denial of inconvenient facts

 

it comes in disguise

wearing suits

with eloquent speech

good educations

careful legal arguments

suppression of critics

disregard for law

resistance to openness

and

contempt for those

whom they consider

weak, undesirable,

or simply other

 

above all,

it elevates the few

and allows no value

for the poor,

the ill, the unlucky,

the old,

or,

worst of all,

the unusual

 

so learn this word

keep it available

but do not misuse it

do not abuse it

 

for when it is used

too early, too often

it loses its sting

but save it

keep it ready

a word weapon

for when it is needed

 

for times like these

 



 

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THEM

 

when I wake up in the morning

I give in to temptation

and let the mockery on social media

arouse me and raise me up

 

but then I remember -

never underestimate your enemy

it is too easy to distract ourselves

by making jokes

 

when you vilify

when you mock as fools and clowns

when you disparage

the intelligence and judgment

of those whom you should fear

you open yourself to error

 

you may relieve yourself, reduce your fears,

release anxiety in laughter

but beware

 

remember

you cannot fight lies with lies

the best defense against half truths

is not mockery

but the whole truth

 

mock the leaders to weaken them

but mock them best in their own words

attack their contradictions

find their hypocrisies

reveal their self interests

 

don't mock their followers just for following

do not assume they are stupid

just because you think they are mistaken

they know where the library is

most of them read as much as you do

(but not the same things)

 

be particular

don't make assumptions

do not answer rudeness with rudeness

but call out the rude

film the violent

document the hypocrites

greet hatefulness

with openness

 

fight their leaders

but, when you can,

be merciful to their followers

hear them

listen

listen for the fear

respect their losses

even the imagined ones

and

ask them why

they disrespect you

 

it is hard

to be patient

so

think of it as

stubbornness

not politeness

persistence

not mercy

resistance

not concurrence

 

resistance

is not always

a lightning bolt

or a flood -

sometimes

it must be glacial

 

so

mock and laugh

to get up in the morning

to weaken the vain and the mighty

to find relief

to share solidarity -

but

never, never

think it is enough

 

mockery may weaken

but it does not defeat

do not indulge in contempt

for that risks underestimation

and that serves the enemy

 

resist

speak freely

write freely

 

support,

above all,

the resistance

of the bravest among us

and help them

speak, write, and act

freely

 

there is a cancer in our country

and it is at the top

in the worship of wealth

the glorification of the few

the theft of power

by a minority

and it must be removed

 

so,

when they come to you

asking

suggesting

requiring

ordering

you

to do what you know is wrong

do not comply

 

but never underestimate them

 



 

A GIFT FOR YOU

 

Do you really need things?

The catalogs have little

that would truly

offer you a blessing,

nothing holy,

little good,

though much that plays at piety or virtue.

 

Instead of things,

the best I can offer you

is your freedom

to be good

and act well in the world.

 

First,

we must cast aside

The Ten Commandments:

five statements about power,

plus five prohibitions.

Neither prayers nor ideologies

nor ritual purity

truly do good,

or change the world,

but actions do.

 

Second,

the necessary and sacred

acts of compassion,

the only gifts worth giving,

are to help others,

to be willing to give.

Practice these:

Feed the hungry,

give drink to the thirsty,

clothe the naked,

shelter the homeless,

care for the sick,

aid the imprisoned,

bury the dead,

teach the ignorant,

give books to the curious,

speak freely,

challenge the certain.

 

These are sufficient.

The Kingdom of Heaven

is within you.

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

in troubled times

this question

has been asked, and asked again,

and it must now be asked again

today I wondered

what is poetry for?

or rather,

what is my poetry for?

and

what is to be done?

day to day

in all the little details of my life?

and I think back

and realize

that i was first radicalized

by books -

by poems and novels

often old ones

but with messages still new

with examples still strong

which is why they burn books

why even the books

in the imaginary canon

are often at risk

and I think back

and browse my shelves

and realize that the answer

to the question

What Is To Be Done?

is the same as always

do not comply

do not give them power

do not be afraid

for they fear nothing more

than the unafraid

and words have power, so

love the world

notice the beauty, the good, the kind

and speak out joyfully

about the need to be free

think freely

read freely

speak freely

write freely

and be unafraid